The heck with sexy, I am bringin Husky back!

The world can be a dark place. Your cat keeps pissing on everything you own. Your work members are two-faced. You are under the scrutiny of everyone you know. Death and illness are all around you. You feel downtrodden and never want to wake from your slumber. Honestly, you feel overall shitty about a lot of stuff. 

Check, check, CHECK! All those things describe me ! Turn the other cheek. Yes, that is what I have instilled in my head. Take it, be the stronger person, and love those that hate you. But what does this self defeating behavior do to your psych? What does this do to your sense of self worth and sanity? They never taught you what that does to a person. They never tell you the backlash that you can go through or how you feel when all of this happens. They never tell you what to do when your best is not enough. They just say, “do your best.”  Ultimately, how do they expect you NOT to be filled with self pity when you do not succeed.  After all, you did try your best. You are the one that always sees the sunny side of things. The one that appears to always be happy. The one that works hard, while others are outwardly lazy and succeed. You try to be fair, non-biased, and see the good in people that are not good. You walk a fine line between social acceptability and leadership. What no one ever tells you that its lonely being that guy. That at the end of the day, you only have your cat that loves you unconditionally. And he pisses on everything you own. I am so very tired of conditions. I love you because you do this,….but i do not love you when you do that. I love you when you are skinny and beautiful, but when you are fat, angry, and have no prospects for a future-I despise everything that you stand for. Society has a way to break you. To make you feel that you have to do things the way they accept and can conceptualize as the only options. I wanna switch it up. I wanna stand up. If I am going to feel isolated, I want it to be for a justified reason, whether its skewed or not. I wanna bring Husky back! It’s cool, I know I am not healthy and overflow over my clothes. I have tatoos and live a middle-class life with no kids and husband and I am alright with it. I believe that it is okay when I say I am not happy. I believe that it is okay that I do not come from a family with two parents, and have siblings from another man that is not my father. I believe that it is okay to love them with all of their faults, despite their differences that I do not understand.

Despite all of it, chin up. Chin up, one foot in front of another as I walk into the sun.  Maybe only to burn, maybe only to walk into enlightenment.